Al Gore has the green energy Midas touch. Climate change has reaped billions for the man. The self-acclaimed climate change “expert” is a profiteering capitalist without a conscience. He’s about to embark upon a venture that will make him the richest man in the world. Gore has his team working around the clock to purchase a fleet of ships equipped to remove giant green algae blooms from Arctic sea ice and the oceans’ floors. He and his secret partners have devised a new plan to profit from the federal government’s green energy generosity. Final appropriations of the green energy money are being negotiated behind the closed doors of the Oval office.
The President has been talking for more than a year about the importance of algae fuel to America’s energy needs. The Department of Energy’s Pacific Northwest National Laboratory has suggested that algae-based fuels “could eliminate nearly half of this country’s need for foreign fuel.” The new technology has two major hurdles in its way. Algae farming for biofuels would require more than 5% of the available land area in the continental U.S.. The other difficulty is that the process would consume three times the amount of water we now use to irrigate our crops. With climate change drying out our continent, where would we find the required water?
Despite the two major problems algae has been called “the most promising sustainable source of energy we have.” The Institute of Electrical Engineers has calculated that “an acre of algae can produce 6,000 to 10,000 gallons of light sweet crude annually.” To put this in perspective, an acre of corn produces just 300 gallons of ethanol per year.
President Obama has become a huge friend of alternative biofuels. Algae-based fuel happens to be his personal favorite. In 2009 the President, through his Department of Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, allocated $22 million in taxpayer subsidies to Solazyme, the leader of the algae-fuel industry. TJ Glauthier, who was a member of the Obama-Biden transition team and who worked in the Clinton administration as a deputy energy secretary and as chief operating officer of the DOE, is listed as a Solazyme adviser. Solazyme officials have donated at least $360,000 to Democrats. The administration in December of 2011 granted Solazyme and Dynamic Fuels a $12 million contract to supply the U.S. Navy with 450,000 gallons of biofuel.
Jonathan Wolfson, CEO of Solazyme, said at the time,
“We are honored to be working with the U.S. Navy and DLA-Energy in driving forward the Navy’s effort under Secretary Ray Mabus to source 50 percent of its energy from renewable sources by 2020. And we are proud to be teaming up with Dynamic Fuels on this contract.”
The Secretaries of Agriculture, Energy and the Navy intend to invest up to $510 million in the biofuel industry between 2012 and 2015. Solazyme will likely be on the receiving end of numerous future contracts despite their alarming financial status. Solazyme is bleeding cash. Vigorous expansion plans threaten its viability in light of looming defense budget cuts. Solazyme’s stock tanked in mid-December despite the removal of Republican opposition to the military’s purchase plans for biofuels.
The Navy currently pays more than $26 per gallon for its Green Fleet biofuel. That’s more than five times the cost of JP-5 fuel. The Navy’s Great Green Fleet is expected to run entirely on biofuels by 2016. Gore’s new company, GoreUS & Co., will soon satisfy the Navy’s voracious appetite for fuel. America will one day call him the “Father of Biofuels” because his business plan will have given birth to America’s fuel supply.
green algae coating the underside of Arctic sea ice
- krill feeding on the Arctic sea algae
The thinning Arctic sea ice has become a fertile ground for the rapid production of algae underneath the ice. The sun shining on the surface of thinning ice promotes the growth of Melosira arctica which is responsible for “45% of the region’s primary production.” The Chukchi Sea between Alaska and Russia was found to contain four times more algae underneath the ice than is found in open waters. Scientists found algal cells doubling more than once a day. Usually it takes more than three days for the cells to divide.
NASA satellite photo of sea algae bloom taken above Chukchi Sea
Enormous algae blooms are now found anywhere from 30 meters to 70 meters below the surface and some of them extend laterally as far as 100 kilometers. As the ice melts the algae breaks free and sinks to the ocean floor. Herein lays the underwater gold mine.
GoreUS & Co. has signed contracts to purchase icebreaking ships, cargo ships with refrigerated holds, flamethrowers and heavy lift equipment to extract large chunks of fresh algae in the Central Arctic. GoreUS & Co. will soon be equipped to recover the algae and sell it to Solazyme. Solazyme will transplant the sea algae blooms into off shore sea corrals leased at bargain prices from the federal government which will in the end buy the final biofuel products. The two problems of water consumption and land shortage which have hampered algae farming in the past have been resolved by the simple Gore business plan.
Survey teams measuring the algae blooms
Mr. Gore, when asked for comment on his new venture, said, “I certainly understand the criticism. I disagree with it.” He understands the criticism of his new algae recovery venture but the Ph.D. of Profit sees no hypocrisy in stripping the planet of one of Mother Earth’s most efficient air filters. Experts predict that by the year 2020 the GoreUS & Co. business plan will have removed 99.5% of the Arctic Sea algae and will be fueling 50% of the world’s carbon-belching engines. Mr. Gore also disagreed with criticism leveled at him for the sale of his Current TV to Al Jazeera, a company funded by oil-rich, carbon-belching Dubai. Mother Earth problems were cast aside in favor of money filling his pockets.
The climate change Ph.D. of Profit is rumored to be in strategic partnerships with the President, the incoming Secretary of Energy, the outgoing Secretary of Energy and the new U.S. Secretary of State. All of the partners are climate control advocates. Mr. Gore sees nothing but smooth sailing ahead for his business plan. Solazyme stock has skyrocketed in value since the GoreUS & Co. partnership leaked out in January. Mr. Gore admitted under pressure from American news organizations that he personally delivered the scoop to Current TV and its parent company, the “respected” Al Jazeera. He assured American viewers that his former company and its new owners can be trusted to “tell it like it is.”
Experts predict that in a few short years the Ph.D. of Profit will become the world’s richest man. Neither the White House nor the Climate Reality Project could be reached for their comments on GoreUS & Co. and its new business plan.
Mr. Gore looks younger every day as he grows richer. His only friend disclosed the secret of his youth to sleeplessandtired.com. Mr. Gore’s been given a lifetime supply of Solazyme’s new algae-based beauty products. His Chinese masseuse refused to be quoted, but she did say, “I’m sure we make a happy ending.”
Our Ph.D. of Green Energy Profit hard at work!
N.B.
The information contained in this article should not be relied upon for investment purposes. The above disclosure is a comedic blend of science and fiction. It’s been written for the sole enjoyment of my readers and it cannot be copied, rewritten or reposted without a link to its original source here at sleeplessandtired.com.
© 2013 All Rights Reserved to Ronald Czarnecki
